


Bad Jokes

by Zanganito



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: Bad Puns, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanganito/pseuds/Zanganito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While driving through New Mexico, José and Conrad discover that they have a common interest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Kyou kara Maou. This is a work of fanfiction.

Conrad still wasn’t entirely convinced that José was just an average mazoku. He glanced over at the double-black who was currently driving something called a truck. José had explained that there was nothing magical about a truck, but Conrad was skeptical about that as well. He didn’t know what reasons José would have for keeping him in the dark, but maybe there were still things about this world that Conrad just didn’t understand.

Some might find it overwhelming to be sent to a strange land and be entirely dependent on the kindness of someone they had never met before. Lots of things were new: the language, the food, the technology, the customs…

Conrad had initially trusted José because they had something in common. When José held up the corked bottle containing the soul he was guarding, Conrad realized that they had a similar mission. He had trusted the doctor and gone with him because that was the most logical course of action at the time. And it seemed that José really did want to help him. But now, as he sat in a magical invention, heading to an unknown destination to supposedly meet the Maou of the Earth, he was starting to have second thoughts. He wasn’t sure which he should find more disturbing; that José had action figures of some of Conrad’s family members, or that the doctor had thought that Conrad would find them entertaining while he gave him something called vaccinations.

What exactly were José’s motivations in all of this? And who was Bob?

He felt a weight around his neck and glanced down at the blue pendant. A pang of guilt shot through his midsection as he realized how long it had been since he had last thought of her. Not that it was entirely his fault. Adjusting to a different world was distracting and time consuming. He picked the pendant up in his hand and stared at it. He had never been good enough for her, but at the very least now she would occupy every free moment of his thoughts. It was the least he could do. Conrad had always known that the world wasn’t fair, but how could it possibly be so monstrous as to take the life of someone so kind and perfect? 

A cheerful voice interrupted his melancholy musings.

“I’m hungry,” José said mostly to himself.

Conrad continued to stare resolutely at the blue pendant.

“Are you hungry?” José asked. “You look like you could use some food. Let’s stop and get something to eat.”

Conrad sighed and allowed the blue pendant to drop inside his shirt again. 

“What do you want to eat?” José asked, not put off by Conrart’s previous unresponsiveness.

Conrad just gave him a blank look.

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know what to choose from, huh?” José continued happily. “Don’t worry; I’ll pick something out for you.”

José stopped the truck in front of a brightly colored structure that Conrad did not recognize. He paused, as if considering something then said, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

Conrad watched as José walked off into the building. He looked down at the pendant again. Where had he been? Oh, yes…

No, it wasn’t fair at all. Julia should have been the one to survive. Perhaps she would have if she hadn’t given him the necklace.

He remembered how the stone had turned purple, stained with his own blood. Or maybe it had been the blood of his enemies; it was hard to tell at that point. He remembered the horrible stabbing, burning pain in his side as he tried to move. The pain was so intense he wished he was dead, even as he struggled to breathe. He had been fully prepared for death, to martyr himself in the hope of improving his world. He hadn’t been prepared to live on at the expense of another…

His thoughts were interrupted yet again as José shoved a strangely shaped food package and drink container into his hands. 

It was food wrapped in parchment. It must be special for them to go through the trouble of using such expensive materials to wrap food. Conrad reverently set the packaged food off to one side and focused on his drink.

“Fast food isn’t very healthy,” José said apologetically. “But it’s better than nothing! And coffee is always good!”

Sometimes José was completely incomprehensible.

Conrad took a sip of his drink. It was bitter, and tasted similar to a drink that the nobles occasionally indulged in. Gwendel was particularly fond of the bitter beverage since it allowed him to focus on paper-work even if he was tired. Conrad had seen one of the farms where it was grown during a travel with his father and had watched the peasants harvest the red berries. He wondered if it was the same here.

“Does it grow on trees?” he asked hesitantly.

José looked over at him as if he had said something extremely profound. “Yes, it does. They keep them trimmed short so they are easier to harvest. I spent some time before I entered medical school working on a coffee farm. It’s a lot of work, but a lot of fun too!”

Conrad only half-listened as José went on to describe all the events that affected the flavor of the end product including climate, elevation, soil quality, tree species, and handling of the beans during and after drying.

…but I guess there are people who have other opinions as well. After all, coffee has bean the grounds of much heated and strong discussion.”

Conrad glanced over sharply at José, but the other mazoku was already intently watching the road with an unreadable expression. Conrad paused for a few minutes to think over the words. Had José said what he had thought he said? Conrad wasn’t confident enough with his English skills to be entirely certain.

He took another sip of his coffee.

“Even though this coffee was ground, it tastes good,” Conrad said.

José laughed and flashed a huge grin. “Hey, that’s a good one.” he said. “You know you understand a language well when you can make puns.”

So he had gotten it right. Maybe he and José had even more in common than he had previously thought.


End file.
